On February 22nd 2015, for the 4th time in my life, my life would change, again. The first time was when I accepted Christ, the 2nd was when I met my wife, the 3rd was when I married her, then along came my son. All these events changed my life, tremendously. I remember, I went to The Home Depot to get some things for the house. I remember her calling me talking about contractions. I raced home, while arguing with her on the phone, lol. I got home and she was mad cause she felt I wasted my time at home depot (in my haste I dropped all my stuff and ran home). She said “if we are going in tonight make some sandwiches, they are not starving me, LOL. Feb. 21, late at night, my wife said it was time. I remember it icing outside (in my mind) I drifted into the turn for the hospital and got to the front of the hospital Fast and Furious style (i’m writing this and that’s how I remember it, LOL). After we got checked in, it was hard to watch what my wife had to go through, she was (very) irritable (Completely understandable. I mean there is a human trying to escape from her womb). She was in a lot of pain. One doctor came in to give her an epidural to ease the pain. That took 40 min. Our mutual friend came by, she was ready to be the midwife (she was/is a nurse) she helped so much. Oh, I remember before the epidural I had snow boots on. Every step I took agitated my wife to no end. She also asked for an ottoman, LOL. True story. That morning she gave birth to a 7+ pound baby boy.
In a few days my son will be 5 years old. I never thought he would be like a best bud. We do almost everything together. God mom says “y’all argue like brothers”.
As my son grew we noticed he was not hitting “milestones” in his development. He was “delayed” at walking, talking, using utensils, and potty training. The reason I used quotations for those words is to emphasize their lack of meaning in today’s standards. I have worked in schools for a little more than 15 years now and worked with special needs all the way up to gifted kids. Do you want to know the difference between them? NONE!
I remember I was on playground duty with this very intelligent kid and he had no idea how to catch. He was 9. I also worked with kids with behavioral problems and they were stud athletes taking on staff members and keeping up with us. We were in our 30’s to 40’s. They were 12 to 14 years old. The only difference between the 9 year old and the tweens was age and what muscles they were constantly using.
My son did not reach these milestones but neither did I. I was “delayed” in walking and in my academics. I struggled in school, until about my 2nd year in college. I look at my son and wonder “was it because of me”? What didn’t I do right”? Then I realize, I’m a pretty intelligent guy and my wife is so analytical and a go-getter. I also remember to trust God.
What was fear has turned to, well, more fear. By the time my son was 3 he was using basic sign language, and starting on the potty. When he turned 4 I felt like he said “ok, let’s bust out these so called milestones”. He started writing, doing math, talking (when he feels like it), facial expressions, blowing kisses to mommy, potty’s like a pro (I have a pic of him on the potty looking at an Ikea catalog), Puts batteries in his 🚂thomas the trains (uses the screwdriver like he works on cars on the weekend), interacts with his cousins (he is very particular about who is in his space), the list goes on. Now my biggest fear is sending him to school, and being too smart. So it’s not what I didn’t do, it’s me being patient and waiting on what my son and God will do.
I can take no credit for his success. My wife has given birth to our son and since then she has always been the one to bring out the best in him. What takes me 3 months takes her 3 days. She makes up songs that help him to be confident and feel loved. You can see the difference between a day spent with me and a day spent with mommy. He looks like we did a mario kart tournament and were drinking mountain dew and eating slim jims all day, with me. After a day with mommy, he looks shiny and brand new. Like he was at the spa and then had all the elders at church bless him all day. (I’m a visual person and the way I just laughed at that last sentence, LOL).
Mom just has a way with him. BUT, it takes a village to raise a child so thank you to Queenie, Gi Gi, Pop pop, and all the grands for the clothes, wisdom, and support. Thank you to all the aunties and uncles for your support and love. Thank you to God Mom and Dad, you have know idea how much you have helped. To Mrs. A Wiggins, Mrs. Gwen, and Mrs. Omar for teaching our son. To all the friends and loved ones who help in so many ways and to all the prayers we all prayed for little guy, thank you.
Caiden I know you can’t read this yet but one day you will be playing online and stumble across your dad’s old blog. You will be 5 in a few days, so, you owe me for the last 4 years, LOL. Just kidding. All you owe me is the chance to see you turn 10, 15, drive (and raise my blood pressure), go to prom, college, work (your career, your passion), thrive, show the world who you are and what you can do. I have missed so many marks and moments in my own life, but you won’t. The best gift I can give you is hindsight. I have messed up enough to see a mess a mile away. But, you are turning 5, and could care less about that, so, I can definitely get you another Thomas the Train and some more tracks. The only way you could disappoint me is by not trying. Love you.
Happy Birthday Caiden🎂
(I know it took a while to say that but he’s turning 5. All the the great things in the childhood happened at 5 😄)